Awakenings
by poppielee
Summary: Sara receives a gift from someone from her past. It awakens more than a few memories.
1. Chapter 1

Awakenings

Author: Poppie_lee

Pairing: GSR/ Sara and other.

Rating: M

Summary: Sara receives a gift from someone from her past and it awakens more than memories.

A/N: This was one of my fav fic's and I recently re-read it and was unhappy with a few of my mistakes so I re-jigged it and have decided to add the second chapter I had written for it but never published. I hope you likey please do let me know!

Sara had just returned from a crime scene and was settling down to lunch with Grissom when her pager went off. She glanced at the small screen "Contact the LV Crime Lab Reception." Choosing to ignore the intrusion Sara took her seat beside Grissom and offered him an apple.

"That might be important you know?" Grissom said taking the ripe fruit from her grasp.

"It can't be that important or you'd know about it." She said offering him a stifled grin. "It's probably just Hodges" She continued. "With the results from that trick roll at the Monaco." She said peeling the lid from her yogurt. Sara was lifting the first spoon of the creamy dessert to her mouth when her pager sprang to life once more. Sighing in defeat she lifted the small device and read the screen.

_Contact the lab Reception A.S.A.P._

"That's weird." Sara said frowning at the message.

"What is it?" Grissom asked looking up from his crossword.

"It's Judy; I just passed her. What could have happened in five minutes that requires me A.S.A.P?" She asked showing him the message. "Well you won't know until you go and find out." Grissom said offering her a playful grin.

"Fine, But if this is Hodges you're going to have to deal with the mood I'll be in when I get back." she said as she stood up and walked toward the door of the break room.

"I'll look forward to it." Grissom replied giving her a sultry smile. Sara matched his grin as she headed toward reception. Grissom chuckled a little as he watched her go; enjoying the subtle sway of her firm behind as she walked away.

He had just finished his apple when Sara reappeared with a package. "I had to sign for it personally; it's apparently top secret whatever it is." Sara said as she sat the parcel down on the table.

Grissom was now intrigued and studied the package. "Maybe it's from the F.B.I." Don't they require a signature from the CSI in charge of the case? "He asked leaning in to read the label.

"No, I don't think so. I mean I haven't sent anything to the feds." Sara said. As she looked at the return address. "It's from a publishing house in San Francisco." Sara said a little surprised as she began to pull at the packaging.

"Do you know any authors?" Grissom asked as he joined her on her side of the table his curiosity peeking through.

"One or two." Sara said smiling as the last of the paper fell open.

Sara gasped as she stared at the book before her. It had on its cover a picture of someone she hadn't seen in over ten years. "Oh my god, Adam" Sara said as she lowered herself into her chair.

Grissom picked up the book and studied the picture of the young man. He guessed the man was around Sara's age. He was good looking with a mop of blonde curls and bright Green eyes. Grissom quickly read over the synopsis of the book clearing his throat trying to expel the jealous thoughts that were filling his head.

"Adam Crowe…" Grissom pondered the name for a moment and then continued "Isn't he the author of that the book of poetry you gave me for Christmas the first year we met? Why would he be sending you his Autobiography?" Grissom asked as casually as his jealousy would let him.

"He is a poet, quite a good one in fact." Sara stuttered out averting Grissom's eyes. Feeling his stare she continued "I lived with Adam at my last foster home. We came from a similar back round." She said staring at the volume in Grissom's hand lost in a memory. "We… em… we were friends." Sara finished, a hint of embarrassment colouring her cheeks. As Grissom nodded and flipped open the book a small sheet of paper fell from between its pages. Sara bent down and picked up the paper she flipped it open. She knew the hand writing instantly.

_Dear Sara,_

_I'm guessing if you're reading this you are a little surprised to be hearing from me. It must be over ten years since we've even talked. I know I just disappeared on you and I'm really sorry but you see I got a letter from my Dad, he was dying in prison and wanted to see me. I know you understand when I say it was the hardest decision I ever had to make._

_I really tried to but I couldn't forgive him. When he eventually died I started to feel like a ticking time bomb. You know that feeling of being so full of crap that you'll explode. I couldn't move forward and I couldn't go back, I was living in limbo._

_Then I got a phone call from my publisher asking me if I had decided to start writing again. It's funny but it was your words echoing in my head that made me take this journey. Do you remember mom's memorial service? You told me that our past is only baggage if we choose to carry it. So I sat down and began to write. You were right as always Brainiac. You sounded just like Mom, she would have been so proud of you. _

_It took me six years and a lot of therapy but I started to write again and what you're holding now is the result. I wanted you to be one of the first to have a copy. It's being published and goes into full print in about a month. I will be in Vegas when the press tour kicks off, if your still speaking to me I'd love to see you. I hope you know how much you have changed my life Sara Sidle._

_Yours forever,_

_Adam._

Sara was a little shocked but a smile found her lips." He did it." Sara said as a swell of pride overtook her. Tears welled in her dark eyes.

"Hey, are you okay?" Grissom asked as he sat down beside her.

"Yeah…Yes I'm fine" She said shaking her tears away as she swallowed the lump that had lodged in her throat.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Grissom asked handing her the book.

"Maybe later." Sara said giving his hand a squeeze. Such a small gesture for many would be insignificant but for him it was a reassuring sign that she was honestly okay. He watched her closely as she began to tidy the table, folding the packaging from her parcel he noticed that she saved the return address label. He was slightly bothered by the fact that she may want to get in contact with the much younger, good looking author of this book that shared her past so intimately; until Sara met his eyes.

"Adam was there for me when I had no one else." She explained.

Grissom had always understood Sara's reluctance to discuss her past and even though she would refer to it sometimes in conversations he knew deep down he would probably never know everything that had happened. He smiled as he watched her settle into the couch in the corner of the break room. Sara tucked her feet under her and drew in a deep breath and released it as she opened the book flipping through the chapters looking for a particular time in Adams life.

Sara Sidle hadn't had a normal childhood, after her mother had been sentenced to life in prison Sara went through a period of readjustment to the world. Her normality was shown to be the worst kind of lie and for Sara the blame fell squarely on the shoulders of her mother, she had spent years blaming her Mother for every failure in her own life. Until she met Adam.

His home growing up had been a mirror of Sara's, the only difference unlike Sara he often took the brunt of his father's abuse. It came to an end when his father in one of his drunken rages pushed his mother down the stairs killing her instantly. Adam had been in the house like Sara, and had sat with the body of his mother all night. It was only when a friend of his mothers called to the house that the police were notified and he was placed in the care of child services.

He had suffered such a horrific ordeal that he needed over a year of counselling before he could be even considered for placement in a foster home. He didn't settle well and was quickly moved on to another home and then another it took him three years before he found Annie.

Chapter 10

"Finding a home"

Annie Crowe was to all that knew her a wonderful human being, she had been unable to have children of her own and after she lost her husband in a tragic car accident she found herself with a big house and a need to make a difference.

Annie had been a foster mother for 20 years and had over 25 fosters in that time; most of which were children who had grown up in abusive homes or had been the subject of sexual abuse. Annie's view was that these children didn't need a mother, they already had that; no what she offered was safety. A place they could live without fear; a place where they could begin to heal; giving them the support and freedom to find their way in their new future. Annie took the children that the rest of the world wanted to forget.

When I came to stay with her I was abusive and rebellious like a lot of children who had grown up in an abusive home. Annie helped me through the pain and gave me the support and security I needed to deal with my past. As the years passed many other children passed through Annie Crowe's doors but I stayed with her finding safety and my first real experience of a loving home. We became very close, so close in fact that Annie asked if I would like to stay with her indefinitely and help with the younger children like me that had never settled anywhere. I was so happy and instantly accepted. Annie adopted me as her son.

It was one bright sunny afternoon in June that child services arrived with a young girl. I had been studying in my room when I heard Annie's familiar welcoming tone. "Hello there, well aren't you tall." Annie's voice echoed up the stairwell. "Well come on in and let's have a chat".

Although it had been a couple of years I could always tell when a newbie was due. Annie would be a little on edge, she would get a call, and then a visit from the child services people. They would bring the file of whoever was coming and Annie would sit and read it back to back; then there was the inevitable shopping trip. She used to make me go with her when I was younger but I had just turned seventeen I could pretty much take care of myself.

I knew this one would be a girl. Annie had bought some new bed linen, and had the room painted bright yellow. I also noticed that she hadn't bought her usual welcoming teddy bear or doll instead she had placed a book beside the bed, so I guessed this one wasn't young. I was happy enough to have another person in the house I knew Annie had missed the company. It had just been the two of us for so long since she had fully retired as a foster parent she was getting on in years and she wasn't up to having young children running around the house. In the first few months of her retirement she used to joke with me that hopefully people had finally realised how precious children were and that she wouldn't needed anymore. Deep down we both knew that would never happen but it was nice to pretend for a while.

I didn't want to interfere with Annie's welcoming process I knew only too well how important the first meeting was. I still remember with deep shame my first day there, I was so scared and angry that I lashed out at her. I still to this day feel a pang of regret, even after what must have been a thousand apologies.

I stood up, walked to my door and peeked out. I could hear Annie's voice, her gentle tone and soft manner told me that the newbie wasn't saying much. That tone always had a way of making you to talk to her even if you didn't want to. She had long since become an expert at coaxing out whatever was bothering me.

Leaning further over the rail I caught a glimpse of her. She was sitting sideways on a chair near the door her whole body looked stiff as a board. She was very thin and had a mop of brown curls that covered most of her face, her head hung downward and she held tightly onto a brown paper bag that was resting on her lap like it was the most precious thing in the world. She looked about fourteen or fifteen I couldn't really tell. She was certainly older than the others Annie usually took in.

I heard the child services agent call her Sara and watched on as Annie knelt down in front of her. I watched for a little while longer as Annie took the girls hand and asked if she wanted to stay for a while, she just shrugged her shoulders and gripped her bag tighter pulling it close to her chest. I began to feel like an intruder so I walked back into my room and continued with my homework. I knew I would meet her soon enough.

A couple of hours later I heard a soft knock on my door. I took a deep breath and called out for them to come in. I braced himself for the inevitable introduction to the new house guest. The door opened and Annie stepped in alone. "Adam I'd like you to meet Sara she's going to be staying with us for a little while."

I looked toward the doorway, when she didn't appear I stood up and walked to over to where Annie stood. Sara stood out in the middle of the hallway; I was a little taken a back at first because she was nearly as tall as me. Her messy hair was now pulled back into a pony tail, but it was her eyes that struck me most. They were deep dark brown pools that were filled with so much sadness and fear I knew then why Annie had chosen to open her doors once again. This girl needed her.

The first couple of weeks we barely saw each other. Sara was in a grade lower than me, we would pass each other in the hallways between classes nodding recognition but that was all. During this time a number of Sara's teachers had approached me remarking on how bright and willing to learn Sara was. I was happy for Annie that the she was settling in well; it wasn't until I was coming out of school a few weeks later that I found out things weren't going well for Sara at all. I had noticed her sitting on the grass writing in her journal, she was always writing in that thing. It was like a comfort blanket, it was one of the few things Sara brought with her when she moved in. I watched as some girls from Sara's class walked over toward her. At first I thought they were her friends but it soon became apparent that they were anything but. "So, you're the latest freak living with Annie do good." The tallest girl in the group said. "I guess we have to be nice to her, after all her parents don't want her." A smaller girl said while the others laughed. "You look like a stick insect; doesn't Annie do good feed you? Here eat up." The girl continued, as the other girls laughed

I watched in horror as she took out the remnants of her lunch and threw it at Sara. Before she could reach for something else to throw Sara was on her feet and lunged toward her. I broke into a sprint and pushed through the crowd that had gathered. Sara was sitting on top of the now screaming girl and was punching her in the face. "I'm not the freak, you are." Sara said as she punched.

I lifted Sara off the sobbing girl and dragged her away before any of the faculty saw what was happening. "Are you nuts?" I said as I pulled her down the street. "Do you want to get expelled? You know if that happens you'll end up back at the group home?" I wasn't angry as much as I was worried for Annie and the trouble this would cause.

"What do you care?" Sara snapped. "It's not like you even like me." She said as she stormed off ahead of me. I was struck dumb for a second but caught up with her quickly, grabbing her arm I turned her around to face me "Why do you think I don't like you?" I asked, meeting her dark gaze, I was a little shaken to see tears had welled in her eyes, and her bottom her lip was quivering dangerously.

"Just leave me alone." Sara said pulling her arm free and running ahead as the tears began to stream down her face. I managed to catch up with her again this time I kept up my pace with hers. "You got a pretty good right hook, I doubt Sophie will ever try that again." I said trying to cheer her up.

After a few more steps I caught Sara glance sideways at me. "Do you think she'll tell?" Sara asked; I knew why she was worried she didn't want to go back to the group home, she liked Annie and like so many before her she felt safe for the first time since her mother was convicted.

"Na, I reckon she'll be too scared you'll tell on her." I said reassuringly. "Don't worry; I'll make sure she knows to keep her mouth shut." I continued as we walked on and for the first time since I met her I saw Sara really smile.

As the weeks past Sara and I became closer. If I was doing anything more than likely I had Sara in tow. Peas in a pod Annie started to call us. We would walk home together every day, she would help me with my homework and I would make her laugh. Sara had opened up a lot more with Annie too, confiding in her; revealing more glimpses of her traumatic past. We talked about her going to college and what the future held; it became very obvious to everyone that knew her that Sara was special.

On Sara's Seventeenth Birthday Annie had made a special dinner for her, Boiled lobster with garlic butter and the most amazing chocolate fudge Birthday cake. Annie stood up and made a toast in honour of her remarkable progress in the eight months she had been with us. We all cheered as our fizzing glasses of Birch beer (Annie's favourite) clinked together. Sara walked over and hugged Annie tighter than I'd ever seen her being hugged before. Annie started to cry and so did Sara. At this point I rolled my eyes and muttered under my breath about girls and hormones. It was then that Sara walked to where I was sitting and gave me a peck on the lips.

"Thanks loser." Sara said as she pulled back, her eyes dancing with true happiness. I was a little shocked but in that moment something happened. It was like a haze had cleared and I was seeing her for the first time. I watched a little stunned as she walked away to help Annie clear the plates. Later that night as always, we crawled out my bedroom window onto the back porch roof and lay back watching the stars.

"What's up with you loser? You've been quiet since dinner." Sara asked me as she tucked her hands under her to cushion her head.

"Have I?" I said obviously avoiding her statement.

"Okay now I know something is wrong" Sara said sitting up beside me. "I just called you loser again and you did say anything. What's up?" Sara said nudging my shoulder with hers.

"Why did you kiss me?" I asked feeling my face turning a bright shade of red.

"What?" Sara asked a little surprised at my question.

"At dinner, why did you kiss me?" I asked again this time with a little more confidence.

"To say thank you… for the cake and… the gifts." She stuttered out as her own cheeks began to flush.

"Is that all?" I asked looking straight at her.

"Yeah!" Sara said a little louder than necessary. "Well, I guess so. I mean I'm sorry if I upset you or made you feel weird or anything I won't do it again." Sara said her voice wavering. I knew she would never have kissed me she thought it would cause a problem between us.

"I won't do it again." She repeated as she started to turn toward the window.

"What if I wanted you to do it again?" I said unable to look at her, my heart was beating so fast in my chest.

"What!" Said an obviously stunned Sara.

"Will you keep your voice down Brainiac, Annie will hear you."

She settled back down by my side and met my gaze. "Do you want me to do it again?" Sara asked almost innocently though the challenging look in her eye gave her away; I looked down at my lap and smiled as I reached over to take her hand.

"I think I do." I said honestly as I leaned in toward her. The kiss was chaste but the smile she wore afterwards was luminous and gave me courage. I leaned in again. This time I opened my mouth encouraging Sara to do the same. Every fibre of my being was tingling, parts of my body were awakening for the first time and I welcomed every new feeling that coursed through me.

The next morning at the breakfast table Annie knew something had changed. We weren't calling each other names. We weren't fighting over who's turn it was to empty the dishwasher, we were just smiling at each other. Annie glanced from Sara to me hoping I'm sure that it wasn't what she thought it was.

A few weeks later I turned eighteen. Annie let me have a few friends over for a party to celebrate. I had a great time; but once everyone had left Sara told Annie to go to bed that we would clean up. I huffed a bit but in truth I was happy to be alone with her. I had just finished picking out the last of the cheetoes that had made their way into the fish tank thanks to my friend Simon whose excuse was "Hey Dude, the fish were totally hungry" when I felt Sara's arms wrap around my waist.

"Come on, I want to give you your present." Sara said as she took my hand and led me to her bedroom. I watched as Sara took a small box out from under her pillow and handed it to me. I smiled and tore at the package until it revealed my gift. My heart sped up and I could practically hear the blood pulse through my veins. My eyes locked with hers.

"Sara, are you sure?" I said my voice was trembling as I spoke.

"Yes." She said I would never forget her next words or where they would take me.

"I love you Adam. Make love to me." Sara said as she took the condom from the small box.

She kissed me full on the lips, her heart beat so hard in her chest I could feel it against mine. We had talked about making love a couple of times but had agreed that we should wait until we were both ready and as nervous as I felt I knew Sara was the one. I leaned into her and pushed us down onto her bed, Sara's nerves started to show; as I continued to kiss her I felt her body tremble beneath mine. I told her that if she wanted to stop, we could.

"No." Sara said with a determined tone. "I want this. I want to be with you. I love you Adam." Her voice was trembling with emotion.

I smiled as I gazed into her worried eyes. "I love you too, brainiac" I said smiling as I lowered my head and captured her mouth once more.

214.

Sara stopped reading the book a glanced sideways at Grissom who was lost in his crossword. She didn't have to read on to remember what happened that night the memories flooded her head.

Sara had never let anyone touch her intimately before Adam. The furthest she had ever gotten was an open mouthed kiss with Michael O Neil a boy in her old school. She hadn't liked it very much and he told everyone that she kissed wrong. It wasn't long after that day that Sara's mother grabbed a butcher's knife and changed her life forever.

That's what made sharing this with Adam so special. He had always been different, he talked to her about books and poetry, and they had spent hours lying on the roof of Annie's back porch gazing at the night sky. He would tell her all about the stars and she would listen intently taking in every word. Adam made her feel special and beautiful. When he smiled at her she knew he wasn't trying to take anything from her; he just wanted to be with her.

Adam's hand had found the bottom of Sara's sweater and very slowly pushed his hand under the fabric. Sara let out a nervous giggle as he snaked his hand up to her small breast. Adam's arousal was pressing against her thigh as he found the taught mound.

"Is this okay?" He asked between kisses as he clumsily pushed and pulled the flesh in his hand.

"Um… Yeah," Sara said not really sure what she should be feeling. By now her voice had become breathy. A torrent of new feelings coursed their way around her body pooling between her legs. She had never felt anything like it but she was sure she wanted more. Adam in his immaturity and lack of experience began to grind against her leg. Sara didn't know why but she wanted him to touch her where she ached. She leaned into his ear and whispered. "You can touch me down there if you want to." Sara said shyly. A very audible gulp came from deep within his throat as he released her breast and ran his hand downward along her stomach. He reached for her skirt's hem and slid his hand upward feeling the heat grow as his hand reached higher and higher.

Sara let out a moan as his slender fingers cupped her sex for the first time. Unsure what to do, Sara let him take control. Adam began to move his hand against her sex, pressing against the damp cotton under his palm. She gasped as he pushed her panties aside and rubbed his finger along her now moist opening. "Oh God." Sara called out, surprised at her loss of control. Her outburst spurred Adam on and he slipped a finger inside her. Her body was white hot against his skin, and so tight he was unsure if he should continue.

"Oh… Oh Adam." Sara's voice was trembling as she encouraged him to keep going.

Adam began to pump his finger into her with more force adding another finger pushing her tight walls further apart. Sara legs fell open as her worked her body. She was so lost in the emotions that were racking her body that she barely noticed as he slipped between her young thighs. He knelt up and using his free hand he opened his pants releasing his hard flesh. Sara let out a low moan when he removed his hand from her sex; he smiled at her as he slipped her panties down her long legs. It was only then she noticed he was on display for her to see. Sara felt an embarrassed flush engulf her cheeks as she marveled at his erect body. She had seen pictures in her science book and had studied the male form in school for her anatomy paper but this was different. Adam blushed under her stare. "Quit staring Brainiac" Adam said as he tore at the small foil packet he had taken from where it had fallen on the bed.

"Stop calling me that." Sara snapped. Adam stopped what he was doing and stared at her "Sorry." She said "I just… would you call me by my name. Just for now, just while we're doing it." Sara asked unable to make eye contact with him.

"Sure." Adam said feeling a little awkward; the momentary pause allowing some doubt to creep in. "Sara are you sure? I mean… we can stop if you want." Adam asked his voice was trembling now too as he nervously toyed with the hem of her skirt.

"No! " Sara said stopping his hand. "Please, I love you, don't stop." Tears stung Sara's eyes as she pushed his hand under the fabric once more. "Please don't stop."

Adam bent down and captured her mouth again allowing their passion to re build. The love that came with that kiss made her heart feel whole. "Make love to me Adam." Said whispered as he propped himself up on his elbows.

"I love you Sara Sidle." Adam said reaching down and taking his latex cover flesh in his hand before pushing Sara's legs further apart. "Tell me if I'm hurting you okay" He said as her bumped the head of his shaft against her opening.

"Okay." Sara's voice was barely above a whisper as she braced herself for all the pain and blood that the girls in the locker room at school talked about. "It was like sooooooo painful, I'm so never doing it again. I couldn't walk straight for a week" Sophie Miller's voice echoed in her head as she told the other girls about her first time with her boyfriend.

Adam pushed his way into her tight body. She was a little tense but after a minute of gentle strokes and slow pushing he managed to fully penetrate her. Adam felt Sara's body tense up as the heat of her innocence lost surrounded his erect flesh. Their eyes met, both held back unshed tears as they paused adjusting to the revelation that this memory would never leave either of them. No matter what happened after today they would always remember this night.

Sara was so overwhelmed with love and passion that the pain she had felt as his body joined with hers seemed to fade. As he began to move within her whole body began to tingle. With Sara's encouragement Adam's thrusts became deeper and quicker both their bodies seemed to be rushing toward an unknown prize. Sara was first to feel it, unable to hold in the surge of ecstasy that was flooding every nerve of her body any longer Sara cried out.

"Oh…Oh… Adam." Sara arched her body uncontrollably as she was lost in a moment of pure bliss.

"Oh shit Sara, I …" The sentence was never finished as Adam jerked uncontrollably. He fell on top of her unable to hold up his weight. They were both panting a little and giggling. They had done it. Every muscle in Sara's body felt limp and relaxed then a thought came into her head that made her smile; she was no longer a virgin. Adam she was sure was just happy he had lasted for more than a minute.

"What are you smiling at Miss Sidle?"| The sound of Grissom's voice shook her from the memory. Sara snapped the book closed and blushed furiously. "Me… nothing, I'm fine. I'm… ugh… going to get back to work. Now." She said as she hugged the book close to her chest. Grissom watched her leave the break room and wondered if he would ever get to read that book.


	2. Chapter 2

_6 Weeks later_

As the weeks past by Sara had almost forgotten about the book. Her intention to contact Adam faded into the "Things I have to do file" in her head. She had enough to deal with, her relationship with Grissom had been getting pretty serious; not to mention the whole the day to day of solving crimes. She had just signed out and was heading toward the locker room to retrieve her jacket, with her attention firmly fixed in the pages of the latest forensics journal.

"Hey Braniac still got your head buried in a books I see."

Sara's heart stopped. Turning toward the reception area Sara's shocked expression blossomed into a full smile.

"Adam, oh my God, what are you doing here?" She asked as she walked the short distance to where he stood. Adam was as Sara remembered him well built, slightly taller than her and with a mop of blond curls; his green eyes danced as he offered her a dazzling smile. Before she could react Adam pulled her in to a tight bear hug and then scooped her up lifting her off her feet and began to spin her around. Sara's yelp was loud enough to bring some of the lab techs out to their door ways.

"Adam… put me down… Adam!" Sara's helpless words fell on deaf ears.

"I'm kidnapping you for dinner like it or not." He said still holding her firmly in his grip.

"Okay… okay… just let me down." Sara pleaded with him. Once released Sara gave him her worst death glare.

"Oh unclench Brainiac! I did tell you I was coming to Vegas, and knowing how you always forget to remember to call I just thought I'd surprise you." He paused, for a moment meeting her dark eyes nervously. Relief came when she a familiar grin tugged at the corner of her mouth a sure sign that he was forgiven. "So…Surprise!" he said loudly throwing his arms out to the side his hands waving. Sara simply rolled her eyes at his goofy exhibition but by then Adams display managed to capture the attention of passersby. The normally subdued halls filled were with whispers followed by a few giggles. Sara was very aware that the gossip mongers would be lapping this up; mortified she began to push Adam toward the entrance.

"Um... Look… I was just on my way out anyway; why don't you wait outside? I'll get my jacket and be right out okay?" Sara said as she ushered him toward the door.

"Sure, that's cool; I'll just wait outside while you grab your jacket." Adam said mimicking her as she continued to shove at his broad masculine chest. He was smiling and a little taken back at how giddy he felt just seeing her again. Happy that he would do as she asked she turned and headed toward the locker room, before Sara disappeared out of sight Adam called after her. "You know you look really pretty when your cheeks turn pink like that." He said laughing at his joke; Sara paused and stiffened but didn't turn around. Gathering herself again she continued on her journey.

Finding sanctuary in the small locker room she let out a heavy sigh. Awkward wasn't the word for what this was. She was happy to see him she just wished she had been prepared for it that's all; plus if she had known he was coming she could have arranged to meet him somewhere other than the lab. She was lost in her embarrassment when the door opened.

Grissom was hoping that he hadn't missed her again; their relationship had been moving along nicely in the previous six months they had been spending more and more of their days and nights together. Once they finally gotten together they both agreed to take it slowly. As the weeks passed they became more comfortable around each other. Soft pecks goodnight turned into make out sessions, fleeting touches became passionate exploration.

The first time they slept together had started as their usual after dinner fumble on her couch but things soon passed the point of no return when instead of slipping her hands into his undone pants she pushed them down over his firm behind and pulled him hard against her. He promised himself that day as she lay sleeping in his arms he was not going to mess this up. That was his promise and he had kept it up to two nights ago.

_The previous Monday_

They had arranged to stay at his house that day and as usual Sara had packed an overnight bag before work and headed into the lab. She had worked with Nick for most of the night trying to locate a Suspect named Jack Landers; he was a convicted felon that had just been released from prison six weeks earlier after severing time for sexual assault. His DNA along with his eyeball had been found in the skull of a dead woman that had been dumped in the desert.

Luckily for Sara he had been found wondering in a confused state outside a halfway house just off strip. By the time Sara reached him he was rambling incoherently and was showing all the signs of a psychological breakdown perhaps even schizophrenia. It was only after they had gotten him checked out at Desert Palm that Sara realized the man was no longer suspect but a victim.

Nick had been working with Grissom when he heard that Sara had Landers in custody, he joined her at Dessert Palm and was appalled to see that Launders had been branded with the number 18 on his left arm. He quickly explained to Sara that their Jane Doe from the dessert had also been similarly branded with the number 19, though neither said it they both knew what their disturbing discovery meant, Vegas possibly had a new serial killer; and he was escalating.

When her shift ended Sara headed to Grissom's office; finding it empty she headed straight to his town house. She was still a feeling little tense and uneasy after such a horrific discovery and longed to feel the security of his arms around her. When she arrived she noticed his car wasn't parked in his usual spot. She figured he must have gotten caught up with Ecklie. It happened from time to time just as he was about to leave Ecklie would corner him about some paper work he hadn't submitted.

They had been sharing a bed over the last few weeks switching between her apartment and his townhouse. They hadn't reached the swapping of keys stage yet but Sara didn't, mind truth be told she was a little scared of what that kind of gesture would mean. She turned off the engine and settled in to wait for him to arrive it wasn't long before she dozed off.

A loud tapping noise woke her with a start. "Are you alright dear?" Grissom elderly next door neighbor was peering in at her. Sara took a moment to get her bearings and let down the window. "I'm fine; I must have dozed off, thanks." She said and began to close the window. "Are you sure? You've been there an awfully long time." The old woman said placing her fingers on the edge of the glass stopping Sara from closing it fully. Sara glanced at the clock on the dash board. It was after 10:30am. She had been asleep for three hours.

"Really I'm fine." Sara said obviously shocked that she had slept for so long and a little surprised that Grissom hadn't arrived. "Okay if your sure." the old woman said as she trotted back toward her house. Sara immediately reached for her cell. She hadn't missed any calls, so she pressed Grissom's speed dial number and waited. "You've reached Gil Grissom I'm not… " Cutting his message short Sara hung up. Where the hell was he?

Sara tried the lab but Judy told her he had left with Brass and Catharine for a crime scene a couple of hours previously and no one had returned yet. She thanked Judy and hung up without leaving a message. She toyed with the idea of calling Catharine but thought it might seem odd to her that she would be calling her to inquire where Grissom was. Assuming everything was okay, that he simply got held up at a scene she decided to go home and call him later. It wasn't the first time he'd been so wrapped up in a case that he'd cancelled a date or missed one of their scheduled sleep over's. It wasn't until that night when Sara entered the break room that things became clear. Nick and Greg where seated in the break room discussing the death of Zowie Kessler.

"I don't care man, how many people she knows she's going down for attempted Murder." Nick said with force.

"Maybe, But you know any good defense attorney will claim diminished responsibility." Greg countered sipping from his cup.

"Who'll get Diminished Responsibility for what?" Sara asked as she made her way to the coffee pot.

"Lady Heather" Greg said like an excited school boy. Nick watched as Sara's hands stilled for a moment.

"Oh… what's it got to do with her?" She hoped they wouldn't notice the tremble in her voice as she busied herself pouring some coffee. Not that she would be able to drink it her stomach had turned over the minute Greg mentioned that particular woman's name, now she knew why he hadn't come home.

"Well, Greg rattled on. "Too much to explain but the juicy part is it seems the Jane Doe from the desert was Lady Heathers Daughter, and she didn't take to kindly to her daughter being involved in some sickos Nazi medical test. So she kidnapped the good would be doctor and tied him to her car and showed him what some of her clients would believe was a good time. Would have killed him too if Grissom hadn't shown up."

Time seemed to stand still in that moment. Greg was still talking double time all about how Heather was arrested and taken down town and how everyone in the lab was talking about how Grissom wouldn't let anyone else process her except him; and how he stayed with her when they took her to Desert palm to be treated for her injuries. She was stunned to silence and had begun to feel nauseous. Nick noticed the blood drain from his colleagues face. "Hey Sara, you okay?" He asked as he walked toward her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Actually I gotta go… and uh… check on… um something." Sara's said avoiding any eye contact and brushed by him fleeing the small room.

"Later." Greg called after her as she hurried along the corridor. He was completely unaware at how his friend had taken his news. Nick on the other hand knew better. Everyone on their team knew Sara had been harboring feelings for the clueless entomologist; he felt for her, but knowing Sara he knew enough to leave her be.

Sara headed straight to the women's bathroom and she locked herself in one of the small cubicles and let out the breath she had been holding. Before she could stop herself tears filled her eyes. She knew their relationship would be tested it was only a matter of time but she never thought for a second that he would hurt her like this. Sara's pain morphed into anger as every touch, every secret, they had shared now seemed somehow tainted. They had both decided that for the sake of privacy and their careers it would be best not to publish the fact that they were seeing each other. It bothered her how easily he seemed to disregard his need for both of these things when it came to that woman.

Sara knew he had shared something with Heather, he never offered her any information as to what had happened between them but Sara got the feeling that his attraction to her wasn't purely physical they shared something more; something that deep down she felt she couldn't compete with, and that left her feeling insecure. She took in a deep breath and gathered herself together. After all swallowing the hurt and burying pain was something Sara Sidle had practiced her whole life.

After a few minutes she had steadied herself enough to return to the break room for assignments. Unsurprisingly Grissom was nowhere to be seen. Catharine appeared and handed out the new scenes explaining that Grissom was still at the PD with Heather Kessler. After she handed out the new cases she told them that she was heading over to there and she'd see them later. Sara barely made eye contact with any of the others before heading out to her scene. He was going to have to face her sometime; she would just have to be ready.

_PRESENT_

"Hey, there you are. I was hoping to catch you before you left." He said as the door closed behind him. Sara could barely look at him, she had been avoiding him for two days and just being alone with him surrounded by his clean masculine scent made her want to reach out to him, but hurt feelings and a mean stubborn streak had a hold of her and she was in no mood to be polite

Grissom knew something was wrong when she didn't return his calls, he had been so tied up with Heather; securing her release hadn't been easy but she had many friends in the DA's office which moved things along, once he dropped her at her house he turned his car toward home for a hot shower and some sleep. It wasn't until the next day when he was leaving for his shift that his neighbor waved him over, and informed him of the strange woman that slept outside his house the morning before. Instantly realizing his blunder Grissom tried her cell, after the third failed attempt to contact her he knew he there was a problem.

"I tried to call you… this morning." He said obviously on edge.

Sara didn't move, or speak her eyes stayed firmly fixed on the small mirror that was stuck to her locker door.

"Look… I'm sorry I missed our day together, why don't we go home and have some dinner, I can explain what happened." He said as he approached her feeling sure that his explanation would solve the problem.

Sara was filled with rage; she braced herself for battle before standing up and slamming her locker door loudly.

"I can't, I have plans." She said picking up her purse from the small bench that so many of the CSI's had called bed.

"Plans?"

"Yes Gil plans, you know those things adults do when they arrange to meet with someone special, at a certain time to share some… quality time with each other you know…PLANS!"

He had never seen such anger in her eyes, and he suddenly became unsure what to say or do to apologize; fear seized a grip on his heart and the only thing he could think to say was "With who."

Sara almost cracked when she saw the worry in his eyes, he looked lost and completely out of his dept but hurt drove her on. "That's none of your concern; after all I'm sure you still have some loose ends to tie up with her." Sara said as she tried to pass him.

The reason for her contempt was dawning on him and the sheer absurdity of the situation humoured him. "Is that's what all this is about." he said lightly chuckling at the realization that it was jealousy that was driving her on and nothing else. "Look Sara, she's a friend I couldn't just walk away and leave her alone. She needed me."

"Fine." She said but it was very clear to Grissom that it was anything but. He stood in front of the doorway blocking her exit. "Sara, try to understand, Heather has just lost her Daughter, she has no one else, and as her friend I felt obligated to help her, to stay with her." He explained sure that Sara would see sense and calm down.

"Yeah… but that's always been your problem when it comes to her isn't It. Obligation or not." Her words stung and she knew it and yet she couldn't stop. "Did you even stop for a second and think about us, about how your little overnighter would affect us; not to mention how your knight in shining armor routine would look in the lab… No I don't imagine you did after all when Heather says jump."

Grissom stood dumbfounded, he knew she was upset, but he hadn't realized how deeply he had hurt her and the gravity of the situation was slowly beginning to dawn on him. "That's not how it was Sara, if you had been there, if you had seen the look in her eyes." He sounded desperate as he spoke willing her to understand.

"Really, well as your such an expert on reading a woman's eyes, what are mine saying to you right now" she said squaring up to him their chests almost touching.

"I… I…don't"

"I didn't think so, now if you'll excuse me, a friend of mine is waiting for me, I'm sure you understand." She said her words dripping with distain.

Grissom felt hollow as he stepped aside to let her pass, he realized his mistake and couldn't begin to fathom how he could fix it so he didn't try and simply watched as she walked out the door with her head held high.

He silently followed her out and watched as she reached the exit door only to be met by a tall blond man who took her hand and lead her out into the Vegas morning sun.


End file.
